Does the cost of living versus increased salaries come out in the green, when it's all said and done?

Depends on how much your cost of living is currently but in my own experience, its probably more expensive overall to be in the Bay. Not only has cost of living hiked in recent years, but also to consider one of the highest sales tax, etc... And everything is in general more expensive for the equivalent elsewhere.

I still think its a great place to be but you really have to decide if you love being here or not. Its definitely a unique culture.

Any advice for getting a taste of that culture before moving there?

Unfortunately outside of a long vacation visit, its really hard to get a first hand feel for this. Before I moved to the SF several years back, I came to visit and living here vs visiting (for a week) was a day and night contrast. You might feel some of it but you won't really be immerse in it unless you spend some time here.

Everything is vastly different. Mindset, behaviors, the people, the way things work, etc.. Its incredibly hard to explain to others outside of the cliche everyone states. Its one of those things that is best felt personally to see if the way things here best fits YOU.

Go to Burning Man

As long as you don't value home ownership. Or, if it's roughly even, then it includes what is mostly a higher quality of life in the Bay Area.

I'm interested in working with a startup or established company but I would prefer to work in house.

Life: After a certain age you stop working to better your life and start working to better your children's.

Programming: Working on side projects that use technology I want to work with. It gets out that urge to do your own thing and employers love to see your side projects.