I had the exact same problem. That relocation package doesn't look so hot now, does it?
I now follow a few rules before accepting a package like this:
1. It must be pro-rata- That means that the amount you need to pay back must go down with time. So if you leave after 1 year of a 2 year notice period, you must only pay back 50%.
2. Like you discovered, the company can overpay for services and stick you with the bill. So always insist on paying for relocation yourself, and get money back via a expenses form. You will be short of cash in the short term, but it will save you pain in the long term.
3. If possible, try to negotiate a "hiring bonus." This may not be possible unless you are famous (or needed for a critical project), but if you can get the company to give you some extra cash, you can pay for relocation yourself. This is the best option, as you owe the company nothing.
"Talk with people, get support, and try to find a way out."
This is very good advice, but so rarely followed.
The problem is, most programmers are shy and reserved, and besides, they don't understand (or at least I didn't) that their problems aren't unique. That hundreds and thousands of programmers before them have faced this exact problem and survived. And not just survived, but thrived.
In the long term, it doesn't matter. But in the short term, it can feel like the world is ending.
I have updated the original article to make this clearer: If you are facing discrimination or bullying, leave immediately! And perhaps consult a lawyer as well.
The article was directed mainly at people who hate their jobs, but not enough to quit (because of fear, because they don't think they are good enough to get another one etc). So they keep showing up, in the misplaced opinion that it will get better.
But it doesn't, and one day all their fears are realised, when they wake up to find they are no longer employable, because they spent all their time just coasting through life, doing the bare minimum.
If a person is in this situation, they need to accept responsibility, and start making plans to move on. This process is hard and time consuming, which is why I say: First improve your skills, then move to a better job. Don't move from one Dilbert company to another. Rather, move to some place that will recognise and reward your skills.
> The article was directed mainly at people who hate their jobs, but not enough to quit (because of fear, because they don't think they are good enough to get another one etc).
Quit on what terms? Before or after finding another position?
Depression is another whole game. It completely screws up any plans you have of getting out of your misery.
Work isn't meant to be fun and games, but neither is it meant to be a torture or an exercise in masochism. If its not working out, you need to make a change. Like with bad relationships, the longer you stay, the worse it gets.
So start planning your exit. I hate to sound cliched, but the journey of a thousand steps really does start with one. Good luck!
If you are facing bullying, racism or sexism (or indeed any other -ism), then yes, leave immediately.
But for most of us, it's not outright bullying, but the constant grinding down, the non-stop requests for overtime, the occasional "helpful comments" that are actually insults, the constant interference, that really gets us down. Individually, they might mean nothing, but over time, they build up, and make you feel as small as the full stop at the end of this sentence. That's when you must plan to leave, but by first upgrading your skills.
