I found reading The Gifts of Imperfection (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4KQI11), by Brene Brown, really helped reframe "imposter syndrome" for me.
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight.”
You feel less like an imposter when you realise that nobody is perfect. You can embrace your imperfections and be satisfied with who you are today.
As a side note, this "Ask HN" question is one of the many reason I enjoy reading HN. It's a vulnerable question that has provoked several honest and thoughtful answers. It's not a "Top 10 way to overcome imposter syndrome" blog post...there's no link baiting or profit to be made. I suspect that asking the question will go along way to making the OP feel a lot better...it's tough to feel like an imposter when the response from the community is so positive.
That quote is fantastic. Definitely gonna check out the whole book.
Another book that sounds similar is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019MMUA8S). I don't know exactly how it compares to The Gifts of Imperfection as I haven't read the latter. The former talks about how you aren't as special as you have been told and how that's not only perfectly okay, but really freeing.
You learn to forgive yourself once you get over yourself. Stop acting like you can be some perfect being and have a happy life if you just: earn lots of money, get that fancy car, get married, etc. They won't make you happy in and of themselves.
The same goes for your career, too. Some things are going to suck and that's okay. You can't fix everything and "you only have so many fucks to give". You have to constantly decide what to give a fuck about and stop giving a fuck about things you don't. That last part sounds redundant, but can be hard to actually do.
I'll add to my Amazon cart. Currently reading: "Reinventing Your Life" and rereading "Think and Grow Rich" for the dozenth time.
I like to be the dumbest person in the room, I force myself into situations where my ego is starved so I can grow from the inside and learn at a deeper level. I'm currently learning Framer and React hoping to reapply to YC in the fall, I got rejected for Summer 2017.
Thanks a lot, this thread is something I'll refer to a lot. I want to respond to every reply but I just can't because of 'you're commenting too fast. slow down!' You're right about HN being the most helpful place for me. It's amazing how supportive this community is to anyone who is sincere.
A good quote to add to this was said by the great Sir Jackie Stewart - "It's not always possible to be the best, but it's always possible to improve your own performance"
For me, dealing with imposter syndrome is about empathetic perspective; YMMV. It's 1:30am and I'm 'pulling a shift' with my 1 month old while my wife and 4 year old sleep. I'm slowly learning to really prioritize what's most valuable towards my goals. And those slight, and constant, mistakes cost me dearly.
Nobody is perfect. Online social lives are skewed; if that's your metric.
I like to embrace the fact that I "have so much to learn".
You're right, there was more to the decision to pull the plug. Credibility was something that we thought and worked hard on. If you're credible with your shoppers, they'll trust you more. I still believe that data can improve fit, but it may be better suited for a company like Everlane (that makes their own product) than Rewire Attire (that retails product). The truth is, the survey was the nail in the coffin. The suggestion of the blog post is that I might have saved myself a lot of money had I done the survey early. The unspoken question is, would I have proceeded with the business had I known earlier? Is it an obstacle that I could overcome? Who knows. Do I regret the experience....never.
Wow...thanks for all the comments. I've been a causal reader of Hacker News, but this was my first post. I'm really impressed all the comments. Lots of great questions/comments.
There was one thing I neglected to mention in the blog post, that I should mention now. We ran a contest (prior to the survey) that required contestants to submit their body measurements. We wanted shoppers to see the power of submitting their measurements. We threw quite a bit of money and traffic and the contest and we saw almost no engagment. My thinking was, if we can't get shoppers to submit their measurements for a chance to win a free high end fashion design, we might have a problem (let's do a survey!)
As @lmm suggested the demographic for high fashion is mostly women. Also, we struggled to find high end men's fashion designers interested in our offering.
@ericabiz - We played around with the language on our site, however, admittedly, I'm not a marketer, so there was definitely room for improvement here. Which is why I've signed up for CoFoundersLab (http://www.cofounderslab.com) so I can find a compatible partner before jumping into my next start up.
Yuck. Without a doubt, the biggest failures in my marketing career started with "let's give them a free..."
Gaining market share or customers via free X promos is a doomed strategy. I have my theories, but the main thrust is some mumbo jumbo about perceived value. I've sat in interviews with more than one company that said with a not-ironic face that suffering now will cause explosive results in the long term. I pipe up and explain why this isn't so. Why I offer this advice for free is beyond me.
I recall reading an article about a pair of grad students who realized that there was a correlation between price and perceived value. IIRC they were researching condom use in the third world and figured out that the locals would use condoms purchased at stores, but would discard condoms passed out for free by NGOs. So the grad students started their own NGO that uses "cool" Trojan/Durex-style marketing to sell condoms dirt cheap.
I can't find the article, but it may be this group:
Obviously, the whole point of providing condoms is that they be used for sexual activities...They are not meant to be used, for example, for water storage. However, if they are free, then there are a large number of possible uses for condoms that generate positive utility even though the benefits do not cover the costs and they do nothing to prevent the spread of HIV. For example, Epstein (2007, p271) reports that when the CSM run by PSI in Zimbabwe tried to distribute free female condoms, the officials found that people were removing the plastic rings and selling them as jewelry.
Hi Tim--thanks for replying! To show my full hand, I'm the business/marketing co-founder/CEO at a software company--though I have a strong tech background, I chose to go into the marketing side because I love psychology and analytics so much. (I'm running an analytics startup.)
I'm also a woman who's been known to drop some serious coin on clothes, and finally, I've previously stated publicly that I believe the future of clothing/fashion is getting exact fit/measurements (which sparked quite a heated debate when I published those thoughts to my audience on Facebook.)
You don't necessarily need a "marketing co-founder"--you can learn much of what you need simply by reading some books by famous copywriters. Start with John Carlton's "Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel" and branch out from there. Read some classic "ad men" books--John Caples and the like. Dig up all of Eugene Schwartz's old ads. Put aside your gag reflex and cringe factor and delve in deep. You'll learn a lot about people and copywriting that way.
I also have some great free resources on my blog and I am launching my own sales course soon as well. See my latest post: http://www.erica.biz/2013/macklemore-effect/ for more details.
“We ran a contest (prior to the survey) that required contestants to submit their body measurements. [...] We threw quite a bit of money and traffic and the contest and we saw almost no engag[e]ment.”
You’re a new website with zero brand recognition. If you had promised a free Cadillac in exchange for someone’s home address, you probably would have seen the same level of engagement. That doesn’t mean people don’t want to receive free luxury vehicles, they just don’t trust you with their data.
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight.”
You feel less like an imposter when you realise that nobody is perfect. You can embrace your imperfections and be satisfied with who you are today.
As a side note, this "Ask HN" question is one of the many reason I enjoy reading HN. It's a vulnerable question that has provoked several honest and thoughtful answers. It's not a "Top 10 way to overcome imposter syndrome" blog post...there's no link baiting or profit to be made. I suspect that asking the question will go along way to making the OP feel a lot better...it's tough to feel like an imposter when the response from the community is so positive.