I have dealt with this issue for 20 years. The first 10 years, I thought I was going to die. But I've learned to lower my suicidal ideation levels tremendously by trial and error.
It was reassuring for me to learn from a psychologist friend that (A) suicidal ideation is the "lowest rung on the ladder of risk", so to speak, in terms of the risk of actually killing yourself. The next rungs on the ladder are: (B) deciding to kill yourself, (C) deciding when to kill yourself, and (D) deciding how to kill yourself. With that said, if you go up a rung, you're in trouble and need to escalate your remedies.
In my experience, if you are sure you are not capable of committing suicide and/or do not want to, it's possible to live a long time with suicidal ideation, although it sucks.
Here are some tips:
* Stop drinking if you lose control of yourself while drunk, especially if you're a sad drunk. Or at least limit the number of drinks you consume.
* Suicidal ideation is a symptom of depression, which is an mechanism that evolved to tell us that our body/mind is thinking: "I don't like something about your life and you need to change it." Focus on changing those somethings.
* You are allowed to have "bad thoughts" like "I am so depressed". However, you cannot allow yourself to have "bad thoughts about bad thoughts" or what I call "meta thoughts". In other words, you can't think "I am so depressed that I'm still depressed." Meta thoughts lead to bad thought spirals which increases suicidal ideation.
* Exercise does not ameliorate this condition for me, but it may for you, try it?
* Reduce the amount of stress in your life. This definitely contributes to depression. But really, you need to figure out why your body/mind is rebelling against you. If you're trapped in a bad job/relationship, you need to fix that.
* Like me, you probably have a very low positive affect (don't smile a lot naturally, aren't bubbly/happy). Focus on spending as much time in Flow (the second level) as possible: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXIeFJCqsPs
Freudian/Yungian take a "mental illness model" approach that doesn't work for people like us, I believe. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and other approaches are much more effective, in my opinion.
Positive psychology is not a method of therapy for depression, per se, though it is a good supplement to other forms of treatment and dovetails especially well with cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Research shows that medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, and marriage/family therapy are all beneficial.
As you've intuited, psycho-dynamic therapy (along the lines of Freud) is not shown to be especially efficacious in alleviating depression except in cases where other measures were already being somewhat effective and only over a long time.
> Stop drinking if you lose control of yourself while drunk, especially if you're a sad drunk. Or at least limit the number of drinks you consume.
Coming from someone who struggles with anxiety and paranoia, the first thing I was told when I went to the psychiatrist was to quit drinking. I am by no means an alcoholic, but I used to go out probably twice a week and I'd also have a beer after work to unwind.
The results were like night and day. All I had to do was not drink during the week and go out less (maybe once every two weeks). You may not be in this boat, but if you are you're doing yourself a favor to cut back.
Sleeping with alcohol in one's system significantly reduces sleep quality, so your mental state the next day is not nearly as good as it could be, even if you aren't outright hungover. Plus, having sleep debt makes you more likely to drink, which makes you accumulate more sleep debt since you don't sleep as well, even though you're sleeping for longer.
Yeah, that can really help. The worst part is the next day hangover. Dealing with suicidal ideation and a hangover is not fun. Also, if you're like me, you feel bad about yourself when you "waste a day" on a weekend while nursing your hangover.
"he results were like night and day. All I had to do was not drink during the week and go out less."
Smoking marijuana arguably leads to a 10% increased risk of developing psychosis. Whereas drinking alcohol raises your risk of developing psychosis by 800%. The public school drug propaganda programs always talk about the risks of drunk driving and liver damage, all while being completely silent about the biggest risk of all.
I was a situational alcoholic during my startup days and quit drinking regularly a little over a year ago. Since May 2009 I've gone out for drinks 4 times. It is astonishing how different I feel now. Before I was very dour and cynical and now I'm generally upbeat. If I drink more than 2 drinks I'm reminded the next day of how crappy I used to feel on a regular basis.
I haven't been consuming alcohol for a while now, I think the last was during some world cup match.I don't necessarily lose control, but I guess I am a sad drunk.My thoughts do get darker when I have alcohol in my system.
I am in shape, and do exercise regularly. I don't think it makes a difference in my case.
Thanks for the links, and comments. I don't usually have a cheerful face, but yesterday I tried to keep a forced smile for the most part, because I read some literature that suggested it can improve how an individual feels. It hasn't really been useful.
I plan on seeing a doctor, but I don't have an appointment till this Tuesday.
Your comment about "I don't usually have a cheerful face" really rings a bell for me. For years, I tried to force a cheerful face, even though it was like swimming upstream. Now, I simply accept that I have a low positive affect (not bubbly).
Marty Seligman would say we have a low "happiness set point" which is extremely hard to change. I know that Paul Ekman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Ekman) says smiling can make you happier. That may be true for others, but it didn't help me. In other words, I think that trying to change your happiness set point is a low ROI investment.
In contrast, for me, sleeping well and on a regular schedule is a very high ROI investment. So is lowering stress and spending lots of time in Flow.
I mentioned that depression is possibly an evolved mechanism. The mechanism is: depression makes you ruminate which leads to insights. Meanwhile, you feel bad so you have an incentive to make a positive change in your life as a result of these insights.
Also, self-help is no substitute for professional help in this situation. It's a good thing to do, but it's not a replacement or a shortcut.
The poster immediately above is being genuinely helpful, but I added some caveats in response to his P.S. below.
Depression can be physiological. It can be virtually impossible to change by sheer willpower alone.
If you are going to incorporate some exercises or ideas from positive psychology (which again, should be a complement to, not a replacement for, therapy of some form), a good place to start would be the book The How of Happiness, a relatively new book by one of the most respected scientists in the field of positive psych.
It contains a popular review of the science of subjective well-being and how that relates to an individual's quest to become happier. There's also a good section about depression include a self-assessment tool that is widely used in diagnosis of depression to help place you on the scale.
What she'll say, though, in addition to explaining much about the science and its application, is that this is something you should treat as seriously as any other emerging medical condition.
I wish you the best. If you reply to any of my posts, I'll be glad to discuss the issue with you further.
I have dealt with this issue for 20 years. The first 10 years, I thought I was going to die. But I've learned to lower my suicidal ideation levels tremendously by trial and error.
It was reassuring for me to learn from a psychologist friend that (A) suicidal ideation is the "lowest rung on the ladder of risk", so to speak, in terms of the risk of actually killing yourself. The next rungs on the ladder are: (B) deciding to kill yourself, (C) deciding when to kill yourself, and (D) deciding how to kill yourself. With that said, if you go up a rung, you're in trouble and need to escalate your remedies.
In my experience, if you are sure you are not capable of committing suicide and/or do not want to, it's possible to live a long time with suicidal ideation, although it sucks.
Here are some tips:
* Stop drinking if you lose control of yourself while drunk, especially if you're a sad drunk. Or at least limit the number of drinks you consume.
* Suicidal ideation is a symptom of depression, which is an mechanism that evolved to tell us that our body/mind is thinking: "I don't like something about your life and you need to change it." Focus on changing those somethings.
* You are allowed to have "bad thoughts" like "I am so depressed". However, you cannot allow yourself to have "bad thoughts about bad thoughts" or what I call "meta thoughts". In other words, you can't think "I am so depressed that I'm still depressed." Meta thoughts lead to bad thought spirals which increases suicidal ideation.
* Exercise does not ameliorate this condition for me, but it may for you, try it?
* Reduce the amount of stress in your life. This definitely contributes to depression. But really, you need to figure out why your body/mind is rebelling against you. If you're trapped in a bad job/relationship, you need to fix that.
* Watch this video to learn about the three levels of happiness: http://blog.sokanu.com/building-a-happiness-framework-in-you...
* Like me, you probably have a very low positive affect (don't smile a lot naturally, aren't bubbly/happy). Focus on spending as much time in Flow (the second level) as possible: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXIeFJCqsPs
Good luck!