I also do have those suicidal thoughts, I gave up internships, friends and stuff to get better at programming and do a startup but I didn't get anywhere yet, I don't even have an idea. That made me lose some contacts and I hardly go out. But the deal is... I belive in myself so should you too, also I can't let the people that care about me down. In life you have a history ahead and you are a part of what will happen in the future of many people, of your future husband/wife, of your kids and many more. One thing that i do to relieve depression is work out, I seriously hate it but in the end of it I feel good and that I did the "exercise of the day" or go for a walk. Lately I haven't really taken my emotions seriously(yea... i'm even getting used to it) so I haven't been that much depressed.

I hope you do fine.