>> Ugh. First: The vegetarians that I know don't like meat. So making a veggie burger that tastes like the thing they don't like is just dumb.

Anecdotal, but i think the aim wasn't just at vegetarians, but also meat eaters who want to eat healthier.

>> Second: When I tasted an Impossible Burger, it was awful. It tasted like a horrible veggie burger.

I've also had an impossible burger, tasted fine to me. Perhaps your's wasn't cooked correctly?