I'm not sure if you are serious. My goal was to use an USB device standard for which open source drivers exist and which doesn't open security holes by allowing it into your system.

MTP devices are ~mostly harmless~ and relatively easy to trust. Network devices are not.

Can you elaborate? I understand the concept of RNDIS or CDC devices, but if you've sent an IP address only without a router, how is any traffic going to make it back to the other IP in that subnet? I figure it will go back over the default route, but how are you in control of the traffic itself?

The subnet mask determines the size of the connected network, which is in itself a route in your routing table.

It's the same mechanism used to reach your router. Subnet-local / connected routes are routes in themselves. Routers let you leave your subnet.