if the alternative is a malware-infested google play store where every second app phones home 900 times a day or whatever, i think i'll pass.

I'm making my iOS walled garden choice with open eyes.

I'm happy to sideload apps if they're worth it; so far the only one i found that I cared enough about to do this with was Blink, and i wound up buying it on the app store afterwards so the developers could get their cut.

I’m not objecting because I know the alternative of not using a walled garden (Windows and Android) and I have wasted too much of my life dealing with its issues. I’d pay 25% more if I had to because the time it has saved me and my family is priceless.

Prices on the iOS AppStore are already almost unsustainably low.

The user will never get the benefit of savings up the chain. That's not going to happen so don't act like it's an option.