I think you have nailed it. Structured is key. You have a pretty good idea of what is coming. There is a protocol to asking a woman to dance (confidence but a protocol nonetheless). I think this means that I need to seek out more unstructured social environments (but part of me thinks that even the extroverts, they aren't leaving their circle-the-wagons huddle of friend in a big open party).

Also, I think geeks think they can crack the code of dancing, find the secret but then grow through experience to realize it is really dancing not pre-programmed moves (though every lead has a set of proven moves).

Maybe I need to stop thinking about this so much and just enjoy it.