I think this whole christmas thing makes a lot of people feel alone and depressed. I hate that. Posts like these make me think this even more. I am alone, and I like it. I can play Warzone and code some stuff I wanted to finish. I can do things I like. I know this may sound stupid, but if you feel alone, don't. There is no reason to. It's just a day like many others. There is really nothing to it.
And we don't need "Christmas" for a virtual hug. We can do that every day of the year.
You might think you are helping people, but you are not.
You can't argue against solitude. If people feel alone, it's because they would like to be around others, but can't.
Telling them not to feel that way "just because" is useless, and telling them they should feel like you do because you decided it's better is just condescending.
> If people feel alone, it's because they would like to be around others, but can't.
Partly. People may genuinely want to be alone, but the culture spewed by the media says that everyone is social and happy and warm and fuzzy this time of the year, like, they must be, to the point where it's wrong not to be. Hollywood-style culture has done many numbers on society, this is one of them.
It depends on your perspective. The extant reality is that we are all alone, although we perform incredible feats of mental gymnastics to convince ourselves otherwise.
OP has decided to simply rip off the band-aid, and accept reality. This is very painful in the short term, but incredible fulfilling in the long-term.
Human existence is individual existence. Human survival is group survival, but that is another matter entirely. Presently, our societies are not structured to incentivize survival (quite the opposite, in fact). The dissatisfaction expressed in this discussion is a result of this dissonance. However, individuals can rarely alter the behavior of society, and as such, investing one's energies in this direction is often destructive. This iteration of society will cease to exist, and the society which survives it will by necessity value relationships and fecundity. However, societies can stay unhealthy far longer than individuals can remain sane. Therefore, it is best to accept solitude, and be pleasantly surprised, than to dread it and suffer.
> It's just a day like many others. There is really nothing to it.
For most of the western world and all the countries where Christmas is a big holiday season, it’s just not a day like any other. It’s one of those few times in a year when families get together, and in the case of the above mentioned countries, people travel far to meet and be with others. The people who do this may not be Christian or believe in Christmas either, but it’s traditionally become a time to meet and spend time with others. Since a lot of the world population lives in the Northern Hemisphere, where it’s usually winter (like) time around Christmas and kinda cold and/or gloomy, it makes a lot of sense for a species like homo sapiens to spend time indoors with others and find some comfort that they cannot readily find stepping outside.
I’m not saying that all this is universally true, but at this time, wherever you find people either trying to be with family and extended family or are unhappy that they aren’t able to, this is the culture. Anyone who doesn’t feel this way could potentially be made to feel as the odd one out or feel excluded from communities.
Considering how the nearly two-year-long pandemic has turned social lives and traditions into non-events, I think we need to comfort people virtually. It costs almost nothing.
It's also not helping that Facebook seems to be shadowbanning me sometimes and not showing my content to my own friends.
This seems to be a new widespread problem since a couple months ago, because I click into some friends' profiles and see things that were never in my feed on those days.
Agreed, posts like this exacerbate the feeling of being alone.
I'm alone this Christmas, and it's bloody great, a morning of simracing, followed by pizza and a nap then maybe watch die hard.
A large proportion of people seem to make the assumption that being with family is amazing and everyone should do it. But if your family are largely arseholes, then why waste your time and energy?
This so much. My wife and son are in France with the parents in-law. I refused to go because racism and bigotry and, and, and... I have also loved being alone my entire life. I made a bird feeder this morning.
I get your point of view, but for a lot of people it's not. Friends leave for family, life comes to a hold in a lot of countries (shops closed etc.) and the whole vibe created around this day screams togetherness (family, friends, and so on). Some people don't need it. But there can be people that feel left out, although they like to be left alone, because everyone suddenly adjusts to that time and they don't.
What I'm trying to say, why do we not just take posts like these and accept that it can do something positive for people. Nothing more nothing less. This bit by Ricky Gervais perfectly sums your post up for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3dxMGzt5mU
It's a weird feeling. I like to be alone but I don't know, this Christmas I have the weird feeling of mix of sadness and loneliness. Usually I don't care, but somehow this stuff comes to me. Even that those are not my first, second or even third Christmas alone, I don't celebrate them, and I'm atheist.
People even those that like being alone or have a hard time with others (I have family members like this), sometimes like being social. The short days of winter effect some people (vitamin D?) and
I think the pandemic has exacerbated this. I notice a lot of the little interactions I used to have are gone although not really deep I miss them.
I have been feeling the same, and I'm in the same situation on all accounts. I think it may be all that has been going on the past months is just starting to now manifest itself in these feelings.
I also noticed that in instances where the one or two families still home on my block who had friends or family pull up I felt kind of envious, which has never happened before.
I have the weird feeling of mix of sadness and loneliness
I think everyone has that to a different extent during the holidays.
I am very much not alone but for many of us this time of year made quite a positive impression on us when we were a kid. It’s hard not to yearn for those days especially if we’ve lost a parent or other family member in the interim.
> I think this whole christmas thing makes a lot of people feel alone and depressed. I hate that.
My children think “this whole Christmas thing” is the very best day of the year. And there is nothing that brings me more joy than watching them make memories they’ll cherish all of their days - memories like the ones I made when I was a kid. So no, it is not a day like many others. It’s Christmas, and it’s special to me and mine.
I have genuine sadness that you don’t share in the same joy my children experience in the the wonder and joy this Holiday brings. But I find it contemptible that you would diminish the joy others have in Christmas in order to justify your own malcontent.
Other people’s joy is not your problem and not something that needs fixing.
Almost every major holiday is hyper commercialized and stresses people being together and buying things for each other, etc… so from that standpoint it definitely exacerbates the feeling of loneliness for some who can’t/don’t participate. But I don’t think telling someone to just “not feel alone” is a viable solution. Loneliness and being alone are different things. Plenty of people love being alone and in their own thing, plenty of people do not love being lonely.
I kind of don't like gift giving... I feel stressed trying to like gifts that were given to me that I don't need (In general im bothered by unnecessary plastic and consumerism, im kind of minimal) If i do want something I know what particular thing i want and just get it my self. i get stressed by gift giving, trying to pick something worth while and something someone wants.
I took the post as just being part of any other day, it just coincidentally happened that it's Christmas, and out of the blue after my partner of four years with whom I had planned to move across the ocean, buy a house and have kids with, broke up with me yesterday. I think you have a solid point, that there's no reason to put holidays on a pedestal. But in this case, hey, who cares -- it really helped to read everything people here had to say. Being suddenly alone and without familiar warmth makes NYC feel so desperately lonely.
People can be "alone" but not feel "lonely".
But you can definitely still feel "lonely" both while being alone and around others
I think this post addresses the feeling of loneliness rather than any specific alone/not alone situation. And feelings are really hard to get rid of, so it's not actually that easy to just "not feel" something.
Feelings like this should be analysed, understood and maybe slowly accepted as part of life, and then people usually can find some kind of peace and happiness.
And we don't need "Christmas" for a virtual hug. We can do that every day of the year.