The problem isn't increased workload, or people having challenges or bad feelings about adapting to increased workload, it's spreading discontentment over someone taking maternity/paternity leave.
A manager and everyone else should be establishing that as much as their contributions are missed it's not a problem that they had a child or took the leave they are entitled to.
Are you saying it’s ok to feel bad as long as you don’t inform or allow the person taking leave that you feel bad?
I’m not sure how I feel about that honestly.
On the one hand it makes people feel more free and feel less bad in themselves.
On the other it will become an open secret among everyone including those who may eventually take leave and then be aware of it, passive aggression may ensure even if it’s not permitted, and of course on some level it’s dishonest.
> Are you saying it’s ok to feel bad as long as you don’t inform or allow the person taking leave that you feel bad?
You are reading it wrong.
It's not just about the individual taking the leave, it's about spreading discontent throughout the entire team because someone is taking advantage of a benefit they are entitled to.
Basically, you are advocating for the idea that someone using a benefit they have is bad.
i.e. I'm allowed to spread discontent on the team and make you feel bad for taking a salary.
Basically this is what I meant. I'm fine with someone saying "I'm feeling overworked" but I'm not OK with saying "I can't believe Jane had a baby during this important sprint."
The funny thing is that everyone agrees that it explicitly is a problem - it's impacting everyone else at the business negatively - the definition of a problem. It's also explicitly unfair in that there's no corresponding benefit for someone that is either unable to or chooses not to have a child. But we're all going to pretend that it's 100% OK.
Arguably, the problem is that there's not enough "slack" in the system to tolerate someone being out. You'd have the same issue if the person on leave got hit by a bus instead---or just quit!
Plus, benefits are often "unfair" in that they help some employees more than others. A sickly coworker gets more out of the health plan than someone who is as fit as a fiddle. Not needing glasses, I get literally nothing out of half of the "vision and dental" package. The tuition benefit does nothing if you're unable or choose not to take a course.
So don't work at companies that offer these benefits.
Because you do benefit from those benefits even if you choose not to have a child. The people working there would most likely not work there if these benefits didn't exist.
> it's impacting everyone else at the business negatively
Clearly it's not. The companies offering this clearly prefer the type of people that benefit from this. And you do as well, as the people taking advantage of this are clearly important to your job satisfaction.
> And you do as well, as the people taking advantage of this are clearly important to your job satisfaction.
Isn't his point that the asymmetric benefit is unfair for non-parents and thus contributing to a lack of job satisfaction for everyone left picking up the slack?
It's not a requirement for "everyone else to pick up the slack". That's just the businesses choice.
At the end they could choose to let the team be less productive. Business should already assume that they may lose an employee at anytime, or roadblocks may come up, so if they're assuming the teams are always going to be at 100%, that's probably not realistic.
The business could also: hire another manager, or promote someone whose been looking for an opportunity to learn to manage. If they do want to shift the load to other existing employees, ideally the business is structured so that other managers aren't at 100% capacity and can help fill-in temporarily. That's still a form of "picking up the slack", but if it's planned for, it's usually less an issue.
A manager and everyone else should be establishing that as much as their contributions are missed it's not a problem that they had a child or took the leave they are entitled to.