> Then, how do you avoid the strife over "personal" spending when one spouse makes much more than the other?
When I married my wife she was making $35K and I was making $90K in 2012. By 2020, at 46 and 44, I “retired her”. She was making $25K and I was making $200K+.
The entire time, it’s always been the same, we have separate joint accounts and her money goes into “her” account and “my” money goes into my account. They are all both joint accounts and I made sure she had enough to cover her expenses and spending money. Off and on throughout the years, she carried health insurance for the family that took a big chunk of her check and her car note came out of her check.
I only spend out of my account and the same for hers.
> Then, how do you avoid the strife over "personal" spending when one spouse makes much more than the other.
This is both of our second marriages. Neither one of us are extravagant spenders and we talk about all major decisions.
While we were 35 and 37 when we got married, we were both basically starting over. Her from a previous divorce and me from a previous divorce and being over leveraged with real estate post 2008.
> How do vacations and other shared things get paid for? Equally? proportionally? I could see a fight happening in each of those systems.
While we had separate accounts, everything went into one virtual “pot” on a spreadsheet and I made sure she had her agreed upon amount of spending money every pay period after “her” bills came out of her check. Vacations were subtracted from the pot.
> What if one spouse decides to stop working? You pretty much have to switch to a single, joint account at that point, right?
When I married my wife she was making $35K and I was making $90K in 2012. By 2020, at 46 and 44, I “retired her”. She was making $25K and I was making $200K+.
The entire time, it’s always been the same, we have separate joint accounts and her money goes into “her” account and “my” money goes into my account. They are all both joint accounts and I made sure she had enough to cover her expenses and spending money. Off and on throughout the years, she carried health insurance for the family that took a big chunk of her check and her car note came out of her check.
I only spend out of my account and the same for hers.
> Then, how do you avoid the strife over "personal" spending when one spouse makes much more than the other.
This is both of our second marriages. Neither one of us are extravagant spenders and we talk about all major decisions.
While we were 35 and 37 when we got married, we were both basically starting over. Her from a previous divorce and me from a previous divorce and being over leveraged with real estate post 2008.
> How do vacations and other shared things get paid for? Equally? proportionally? I could see a fight happening in each of those systems.
While we had separate accounts, everything went into one virtual “pot” on a spreadsheet and I made sure she had her agreed upon amount of spending money every pay period after “her” bills came out of her check. Vacations were subtracted from the pot.
> What if one spouse decides to stop working? You pretty much have to switch to a single, joint account at that point, right?
Nope see above