Any advice for a guy with a risk-adverse wife and not enough money in the bank to go the startup route, but who does secretly want to get fired? Also, the company I work at is quite nice, it's just the job I'm doing isn't what I love. But I don't know if I like large corporate life very well and I do know that I like small company environment. Startup environment maybe (difference between small vs. startup is urgency and energy).
My current manager convinced me, last time I asked, to stay through current project completion. He gave me a raise and promised raving reviews. He also says I should definitely stay in the company. So I have an easy career path. I just don't know that I want it. Actually, I'm pretty sure I don't want it, but I won't know that until I try the other way, I just don't have the money in the bank to afford the other way.
Sorry about personal sidetracking. Great post, and certainly made me think about my situation again. At the very least, the mindset of "Fire Me, I Beg You" can be a great bargaining tool.
Way to draw a detailed scenario to which, I unfortunately have no advise for. Having said that, it resonates with a lot of what I hear in my personal circles.
In your situation, I would talk to my wife. Assure her that my professional life deserves a change and after which, follow through very carefully. First, find out what it is I need to be happy. Is it money, distance to work, workplace dynamic or maybe my own business. Itemising the collective of what works for me, will give me a sense of following up with my goals. I can attack them one at a time. I don't want to feel pressured to change based on any findings, but I don't want to shelve them away as well. It's kind of like making a pact with myself about a life-changing, 180 deg turnaround, and then getting a sandwich,- and forgetting about it.
Once I have an idea of what and where I want to be, I'd start by being honest with myself: can I pull it off. Baby step into it by setting aside minimal amount of daily time to find out how I'll get it all done. For example, if my path leads me to making my first mobile game, I'll go to the book store. Research what kids games are easy to port and estimate my time. "Tic tac toe" for instance would be a good first candidate. Do a shitty, but honest effort to get something done. Rinse and repeat, but improve a bit with every iteration. I would attempt to join online groups, find related groups on G+, FB, etc. If I find myself loosing interest, re-evaluate if I really can keep up with the expectations.
And then there's my current albeit hypothetical job. If above makes me happy enough, why quit. If you still loathe it, reapply your spent time to looking for new job and call a meeting for tomorrow at 8am with your boss.
Your "risk-averse wife" should consider the risk of having an unhappy and resentful husband in a few years' time. As a couple, her happiness is entwined with yours, and vice-versa; neither will be content until both are.
If you feel you are on the wrong track - and it seems you have quite soundly arrived at this conclusion - start hunting around.
I've got some advice there. Volunteer with inner city youth. You will be so jaw-droppingly stunned about how horrible your life isn't that every day on Earth will seem like a gift from heaven no matter what your job.
This is really hard to say without knowing what exactly you mean by going the startup route and what exactly it is you want. There are companies that are profitable, have a small company mentality, have exciting challenges, but are certainly not startups any more. They don't have the same urgency, but a lot of that urgency comes from the high risk inherent in just being a startup.
Chances are you'll have to make compromises. Find out the most important things to you and figure out how to get there while balancing other considerations, like the amount of risk you can actually take.
I think the solution to your problem is relatively easy. You want something different, but your wife won't sign off on it in advance, because she's reasonably concerned about making ends meet.
The solution to this is to get the opportunity lined up before presenting it to your wife, and without quitting your current job (which by the way, has a time bomb sitting on it - your boss had to convince you to stay so they might be lining up a replacement for you already. Really depends on the nature of that relationship and company.)
If you really want to work for a startup, find some well funded ones, go interview with them (take long lunch breaks or a few personal days) and get some job offers at %120 of your current salary. Your wife will have trouble turning down a raise from a company that you really want to work for.
Most companies want "recommendations" but this is a legally dangerous situation anyway (even a positive recommendation opens the recommender up to legal liability for not being positive enough.) Most people will understand that your current employer cannot give a recommendation and when they ask about them, don't badmouth your current employer just say they're good but they can't give you what you need.
Anyway, that's how I'd approach it. If working for a startup means you'd have to move somewhere else, then you might look into the possibility of getting another corporate job, but in a startup hub, relocating there for a few years before making the switch to a startup.
My current manager convinced me, last time I asked, to stay through current project completion. He gave me a raise and promised raving reviews. He also says I should definitely stay in the company. So I have an easy career path. I just don't know that I want it. Actually, I'm pretty sure I don't want it, but I won't know that until I try the other way, I just don't have the money in the bank to afford the other way.
Sorry about personal sidetracking. Great post, and certainly made me think about my situation again. At the very least, the mindset of "Fire Me, I Beg You" can be a great bargaining tool.