> They didn't drink or do drugs or consider themselves victims, and it didn't help one bit.

I think this highlights the culturally ingrained measures of success that most of us default to reflexively.

In a world where most of the circumstances around us are out of our control, finding a way to live without falling into victimhood is success by some measures.

Here’s how I think about this: falling into a victim mindset is a good way to stay stuck. Finding a way to avoid this mindset doesn’t guarantee someone will get unstuck, but it increases the odds. And if they stay stuck, they’re only dealing with the circumstance they’re in instead of also dealing with the added layer of psychological distress of victimhood.

I think it’s also critical to still call out fallacious ideas, e.g. being underpaid is a real issue that needs to be solved.

The thing about victimhood is that it primarily impacts the person who engages in the thought patterns and doesn’t actually change the situation for the better. In terms of pure utility, it’s not worth the brain cycles.

This does not mean that the circumstances that lead to the mindset are not serious issues that need to be solved.