It is just a proposal by the authors, and not an IETF working group (WG) draft. This can be identified by the name as draft-authorname-* and not draft-ietf-*. Anyone can write an author draft and AFAICS this is not even aimed at a specific working group (it should have been sent to [DNSEXT] and does not appear there or any other DNS-related WG.)

[DNSEXT]: http://datatracker.ietf.org/wg/dnsext/

There are a few grammar mistakes sure, but it makes sense to me.

tl;dr:

In order to realize the transition from Internet to Autonomous Internet, each partition of current Internet should first realize possible self-government and gradually reduce its dependence on the foreign domain names, such as COM, NET et al. Then to each AIP network, we can establish a new autonomous DNS, or Upgrade one part of current Internet DNS (core part or non core part) to a new autonomous DNS.

Go right ahead guys, anybody can configure their name resolvers that way if they want to. The part that they're not saying is that in order to force this upon their users they will have to block DNS packets from traversing across their border.

I can't imagine the IETF is going to go for this.

Access to people that write good english can be very hard to get in China, so that is probably not a good indicator of anything in this case.

Unless the Great Firewall also blocks websites offering proofreading services, I'm not sure if that's a valid excuse.

On the flip side, I often see equally poor translations of English documents to Chinese. I'm not sure if we have a similar firewall preventing access to proofreading services.

Why do you think this is not a "real effort"?

Because it reads like it was generated by one of those Markov Chain text generators and then run through Google translate a few times.