I stopped at one because I can't find anything else I'm remotely interested in. I don't particularly have interests beyond Linux and programming. I know that's limiting, but it is what it is

Shared interests are a key way to build social connections. You say you're frustrated, but then you say "it is what it is" about the most obvious way to make friends. Your frustration sounds like the result of self imposed limitations.

Here's my 2c. Pick an interest that attracts the kind of people you want to spend time with. Immerse yourself in that interest. Go meet people who share that interest. Spend time with them.

Any previous experience with that interest is not necessary - you can be honest and say you're new and learning. People tend to love sharing their interests.

Interests being what they are, one doesn't just find things interesting. If it's for the people and there's little actual interest in the activity itself, then it'll show and there will eventually be a breakdown. If lucky, one just might find a new genuine interest with people one is interested in, but that's being really lucky. Maybe a "Tinder for Interests" could work.

I respectfully disagree. Interests come from positive experiences. When people say they have no interest in - oh - Mongolian throat warbling, they generally mean they have absolutely no experience of it, and presume - based on that lack of experience - that they wouldn't find it interesting. Naturally, this is an uninformed opinion.

This is where being open minded to new interests can pay off handsomely. If your new interest comes with new friends that you greatly enjoy the company of, you will most likely develop a genuine interest over time as the natural result of those shared positive experiences.

Many of our existing interests are the echoes of positive experiences from our childhoods, and you can use the exact same mechanism to pick up new interests in adulthood.

I really don't see how interest can simply come from positive experience if there's no affinity. I've never tried Mongolian throat warbling, so I'm neither here nor there. And trying it doesn't mean I'll become interested in it even if I enjoy doing it a few times. Like I've generally had positive experience doing math (as far as I can recall), but I haven't gained any interest in it. It just isn't there. And that means I'd never join a math club, for example; I'd find it dull, even if I had friends in it. Same for a myriad of other things. It'd be pretty overwhelming mentally if one were to be interested in everything they tried and had a positive experience with IMO, which is why people specialize.

And conversely if I think hard enough, I can probably come up with something I never had early positive experience with but still pursued because I found it interesting. I'm also very interested in traveling in space, but I definitely don't have any experience, positive or negative, and likely will never gain any. I'd totally join a club that talks about traveling in space in a heartbeat though.

exactly this. interest in something can be contagious. in fact, it is the main job of teachers to get students to become interested in something. which is why i told the top commenter to keep looking. explore and try things. it also matters whether something is done alone or with others. i like solving problems for others, and i can get interested in something because others are interested in it. i like things more because they allow me to socialize.

If the goal is social interaction, just force yourself to do things others like. Maybe you'll end up finding other interests or striking gold.

Worst case you're hanging out doing something besides your favorite thing, but you're still hanging out.

That's a recipe for absolute boredom IMO. Likely end up zoning out, and there experience will only reinforce the feeling of helplessness.

I'm not sure why you are surprised your possibilities of connection are so limited when your interests are so limited

In 2015 Melbourne there were 5 different groups meeting about Linux weekly and one group about every programming language in the top 20 of stack overflow.

The endless lockdowns destroyed pretty much all of civic society there and the place hasn't recovered, literally everyone I know from that period left after the lockdowns ended.

Well I suppose that you had something really exceptional in Melbourne, then. I've never heard of anything like that anywhere I've lived in the UK or Germany

This describes Manchester, UK pretty well as well - before the pandemic there would be some sort of tech meetup every day of the week. But now it is down to ~one a week. And many have been taken over by recruiters and marketers.

I'm pretty sure it was the same in every bigger European city. There used to be plenty of diverse tech meetups in Warsaw or Poznań, PL before the pandemic; today they're still slowly rebuilding and those that already did are usually still a shadow of their former self.

when i was visiting vienna there were 3 meetups every week. after covid! so i believe they recovered pretty well. it would be sad if they are the exception and i hope others will get back to their previous level of activity too.

If you understand that it’s limiting, then I guess you need to try to go to the Linux meetups and if that doesn’t suit you, find new ways of being happy?

You’re not giving anyone much to work with. I honestly can’t imagine only having 2 interests that are related.

Hope you find some joy!

That's the issue. There's very few Linux meetups and fewer still are frequent.

I had a similar issue going to 3d modeling meetups. Surprisingly few in Los Angeles. There's one blender Meetup that comes around maybe once a year and that's it.

It was bad before COVID, but Meetups completely torpedo'd during it. And it has bounced back as much as I thought.

Do you have any notion of what it is you'd like to do with Linux and programming?

Deep dark buried backend stacks in cloud infrastructure, or perhaps control a drone that monitors engineering or construction progress, etc.

I have an interest in systems programming. I've been on a run of enjoying esp32 iot home automation projects, I enjoy interfacing hardware with software. I enjoy restoring early hardware.

So, retro system meetups, hackerspace and electronics meetups ? (Which i'm sure retro and hackerspace are in syd/mel)

Home automation gives you a line in to hook up with tradespeople (electricians etc), building contractors, architects that design and install such systems.

There's a challenge there to socially meetup and connect to develop work, a career, or just exchange information.

Social friendships might come out of such pursuits.

(FWiW I'm in W.Australia, > 60, and had an interest in version 0.0 Linux when I was porting Minux to a transputer array and eating popcorn when Tannenbaum and Torvalds were back and forthing on UseNet)

I mean, it sounds like what really fits the bill for what you’re looking for are coworkers or collaborators more so than friends.

Which is fine, and recognizing that might help you find it. End of the day, having meaningful social connections takes actually being interested in other people, not just a shared external interest, or hobby.

Harder to do for (assumed) males. Males gather over "things". Women tend to gather over "community" more than the "thing".

That's a part of why modern male groups break up easier. No more "thing" no more Meetup.

This is the one.

Maybe you will find some fellow nerds interested in going deeper here: https://mess.foundation/

A creative hobby in which you could apply your programming skills perhaps?

Yup, I can confirm. The difference in meetups post and pre-pandemic is stark. Feels like a lot of society collectively realized they like being indoors and isolated and stayed that way. Can definitely say that for a few friends.

Of course, the party goes bounced right back. More introverted activities, not as much.