I think there are two reasons: choosing to change jobs on your own gives you ability to pick a time when it's minimally disruptive to yourself and your actual family, and then the pretend "family" vibe you cite is pushed by the employer in the first place. Companies insising on a game of make-believe where the relationship between employer and employee isn't transactional makes it hard not to be bothered by the hypocrisy. I agree that on average, the tech industry isn't as bad as other industries often are, but I don't see why that's a compelling argument not to care about the fact that it still could be better. There's nothing stopping me from wanting fewer tech layoffs and better conditions for workers in other industries as well (and in some circumstances even advocate for that even knowing that it might require changes to my own quality of life to achieve that; as a trivial example, I go out of my way to tip much larger than 20% when I use Uber because I'd rather risk getting ripped off than a driver not getting paid a fair wage for the work they do for me, even if it's at my own expense).
At the end of the day, everything is a balancing act, and the amount of change most of us can make as individuals is a drop in the bucket compared to the unfairness that people have to deal with every day. We all have to make judgement calls on where to take a stand and where to play it safe to avoid making things harder for ourselves without actually making a difference that ends up helping anyone, and if people are acting in good faith when trying to make those choices, I don't see any value in criticizing what they end up deciding. If anything, most of us in tech are probably in far more of a comfortable position to be able to speak out against employers (either or own or those in industries where workers are treated even worse), so I think there's a reasonable argument that it's more important for us to because of that. It's not a zero-sum game though; pointing out tech employer hypocrisy doesn't inherently take anything away from pointing out even worse things that other employers do.
> I go out of my way to tip much larger than 20% when I use Uber because I'd rather risk getting ripped off than a driver not getting paid a fair wage for the work they do for me, even if it's at my own expense
Honest question, as a European who doesn't fully understand tipping culture: don't you think that this might be perpetuating a culture of exploitation? Wouldn't you rather spend your money on taxis that at least have some regulations if you are afraid the drivers are getting the wrong end of the deal?
In the macro sense? Possibly, if everyone is doing what I'm doing. In my experience though, the opposite is more common; I've heard of people absolutely refusing to tip out of "principle", and then workers making sub-minimum wage don't actually get paid what they're legally "mandated".
In the micro sense, I find it pretty unlikely that I'm single-handedly making much difference personally in the New York economy. While as software engineer in tech I'm undoubtedly better off than average, I'm certainly not anywhere close to wealthy enough that even spending my entire net worth on tips would affect anything at all.
I didn't say don't tip, I said don't use Uber and use a taxi instead (and keep tipping if you want). I don't know what the situation is in NYC, but the last time I visited the US in Illinois, my taxi driver told me he also used Uber when he finished the hours he could legally drive a taxi for. To me that's scary on so many levels: both from the point of view of exploitation, but also personal safety.
I guess I misunderstood. Honestly, a big part of why I use Uber is that there aren't nearly as many taxis in Brooklyn, and the few times I've tried to take them from Manhattan into Brooklyn, it seemed to frustrate the drivers. Within Manhattan, it's not hard to flag a taxi since there are dozen driving by every minute, but the experience is very different outside of there.
At the end of the day, everything is a balancing act, and the amount of change most of us can make as individuals is a drop in the bucket compared to the unfairness that people have to deal with every day. We all have to make judgement calls on where to take a stand and where to play it safe to avoid making things harder for ourselves without actually making a difference that ends up helping anyone, and if people are acting in good faith when trying to make those choices, I don't see any value in criticizing what they end up deciding. If anything, most of us in tech are probably in far more of a comfortable position to be able to speak out against employers (either or own or those in industries where workers are treated even worse), so I think there's a reasonable argument that it's more important for us to because of that. It's not a zero-sum game though; pointing out tech employer hypocrisy doesn't inherently take anything away from pointing out even worse things that other employers do.