I've been running a mail server for years. Never had any problem. I switched ip a year or two ago and didn't even warm up the new one. I do have DKIM and DMARC and that stuff though.

I'm sure you'll have some problems if you start serving newsletters right away, but as a personal mail server, you don't really need to do anything.

I even fucked up the config at one point for a week, and all the mail just patiently waited on the senders mail server for mine to be up again. I really love email.

I run mailman, which requires extra setup with ARC. In practice Gmail works pretty well. I've had more issues with smaller email providers like ... Umm Microsoft. Yahoo. Once someone working for 18F couldn't get my email on their .gov address.

Don't immediately start hosting your own email on a brand new domain especially if you're using a free or very low-cost VPS provider.

Pay a bit more for a better reputation provider. Use a domain you've owned for a while. Set up all SPF, DKIM, and DMARC properly.

Or just pay fastmail to do it for you.

I didn't have any issues with it. I ran the same server straightaway on a new domain maybe 7 years or so, maybe more. I recently changed hosts from AWS to somewhere else, so the IP changed, etc, and I did have one major e-mail provider ding me for a single outgoing e-mail after that, but it didn't happen twice and never any issues since then. I feel like if you follow all the DNS recommendations, it's not a problem anymore.

You're conflating a few different issues: the newness of a domain, and the quality and cost of of your VPS.

Some email providers don't like brand new domains, yes, but if a domain is brand new, nobody is going to immediately start using it for mission critical things. That's just common sense, although now I want to buy a domain to see how much of an issue this really is.

The cost and quality of a VPS means very little because if a VPS is on a network with a poor reputation, one can easily smarthost through a mail provider that has a good reputation.

Likewise, people can run servers at home, or they can colocate, or whatever, and don't have to run a VPS at all, although I think you're just generalizing and aren't suggesting that people can't use other servers.

Perhaps IP reputation became less important than domain reputation when SPF and SKIM became things.

I disagree. I followed luke smiths video on email hosting and adapted to miab and I was up and running. Checked the IP for problems beforehand. Have had to request a different IP once.

Strong rec to use Fastmail; it's a fantastic, reliable, inexpensive service w/ excellent performance and UX.