I think the biggest challenge of this is finding friends that will tell you when you are wrong. And no wonder, it's really hard.
A friend of mine sent me a short story that they wrote not to long ago, and it was not very good. But I could not bring my self to say that, instead I made some little criticism and did not comment on the writing as a whole.
The tricky aspect here is that most people believe that taste, and the 'quality' of artistic work, is mostly a subjective matter, but when they make criticism of art they treat their views as objective truth. Thus when you criticise a friend's work, or vice versa, the temptation is to think of it as "(Your|their) work sucks!" instead of "Oh well, (I|you) didn't like it, maybe someone else will."
Semmelweiss, on the other hand, had no subjective matter. He had the statistics showing that as soon as doctors started washing their hands, infant mortality went way down. It was just the doctors' pride which made them think he was accusing them of regularly killing newborn babies.
Of course there is bad art which everyone agrees is terrible, and telling people that truth is hard. In the end, though, it's better to be honest because it's probable that your friend would respond with a determination to do better next time. The trick is to be tactful.
I'm not overly familiar with this story, but it is easy to recast as a fight between the empiricist and the theoretician. To the empiricist, a man shows up with statistics showing a correlation, maybe even causality, and that's all you need. To the theoretician, if the man with the statistics says it's due to little green men that live in his head, the numbers aren't enough.
In hindsight, we can see that he was right and it doesn't matter why. But there are also plenty of other stories where acting too soon, before having a real, theoretical understanding of what's going on, would have been a lot more detrimental in the long run.
Could not agree more. I have design based startup where we do digital home staging for real estate clients and this is our most difficult problem, getting past the subjectivity of interior design.
It's funny to see the exact same furniture used for various different clients and see the wide range of feedback we get from "I love it" to "that looks terrible" and usually the negative feedback is always expressed as definitive comments like "that does not work" or "this NEEDS to be changed". Someone recently even went so far as to say that a mug should be next to a coffee machine instead of a cup.
Even though we state that we are appealing to the majority of home buyers and not individual preferences I have yet to find a good way to get past design subjectivity. I think it is just human nature to inject our preferences into artistic things and express them as if it is the other person's work that sucks.
>It's easy to criticise a minor detail of a friend's work, but harder to say "you don't have the talent for this, give up."
I would question whether most people honestly have the expertise to make a judgement like 'you don't have the talent for this, give up'. I think people routinely overestimate their own abilities and discernment. Taking a hasty/faulty analysis and then telling someone to 'give up' seems like a terrible idea.
Curious, how do you know your friend is wrong? Was your friend factually wrong (a Holocaust denier) or did you just not like their writing?
With that said, I've critiqued writing I've not liked, but I rarely say, "I didn't like this", but rather I point out everything I think needs improvement, with at least one specific example to back up my point. As giving vapid criticism is easy, and producing works is typically much harder, I attemtp to put some effort into my feedback.
And always be aware that there's a good chance that what you might view as an improvement may not be. I'm no more offended that one doesn't incorporate a given piece of my feedback than I'd expect them to be in getting the feedback.
The best feedback I've gotten is typically tough but fair. Some characteristic elements I appreciate help with:
- Benchmarking (to a peer group)
- Clarity (what does/does not come across)
- Technical (pro-tip: this is how to fix)
Of course, some of the onus is on the submitter on how s/he selects the reviewer. This will be a function of how serious they are, and what their purpose is.
An expert reviewer will typically benchmark you to an attainable but more advanced peer group. A lay-reviewer is usually useful for feedback on clarity, direction, or purpose. If something is truly lacking, a reviewer may ask about the intended goals of the project. This typically segues to a discussion on a sub-section of the work that has some merit (hopefully) . Maybe an idea, concept, example. This is still useful, and the reviewer/s avoid painting the whole thing with a broad brush.
Edit: Just wanted elaborate, re: Benchmarking.
For creative work, typically, an exchange is "This part is strong. This part needs work." And the you are referred to somebody elses work:..."Take a close look at what these guys are doing [list XYZ]". It then falls on the reviewee to follow up. And this is where the real feedback takes place. Where you see just what is expected of you and you get a sense of how hard/easy the next step is. But the act of direction, support, and (hopefully) inspiration is what leads to the success.
* Critique the story, not the writer.
* Remember that it's your *opinion*, and phrase it as such.
So, for example, if your friend's story had terrible dialog, you might say, "I felt like the dialog was wooden. It seemed to me like Joe Maincharacter used a lot of clichés -- maybe you did this intentionally for effect, but I found it tedious after a while."
This, of course, assumes that your friend specifically asked for a critique when sending you the story.
I wish I knew. I have trouble with this with even my closest friends. I have a difficult time saying "you know, this girl probably isn't right for you" which after they break up they say that they wish I'd have said something.
The only thing I can think of is to make a concerted effort to be honest. Not too honest. I have noticed that if you're too honest it comes off as rude and abrasive even if it's true. Hopefully that will encourage my friends to be honest with me which is the kind of honesty I value the most from all the people I know in life.
A friend of mine sent me a short story that they wrote not to long ago, and it was not very good. But I could not bring my self to say that, instead I made some little criticism and did not comment on the writing as a whole.
Anyone have tips on how to do this better?