For my part I'm obviously at the "I'm different" level and I don't feel insulted discussing the whole spectrum. Hopefully that's true for more people over time.

Edit: In retrospect I suppose the “developed wrong” language is insulting to me and the boundary is just beyond the idea of “different”

I suppose then the request is for those people caring for autistic people who are so different life is impossible to live without care to view the concept of “different” as a spectrum too. Not wrong.