Becoming a father transformed my life, which I thought was really rich, into the most joyful experience. Even the more frantic moments are memorable now. The time my daughter spilled her Mom's purse all over the floor (I caught that moment on film), rushing to drop her off at day care and still make the Bart train to work, escorting her from my Cal Berkeley office up to Strawberry Canyon for summer swim classes --- we just re-enacted that over 30 years later, and we were both wondering how I made the hike. It's steep (but I was younger), taking her to a somewhat secret day care in San Francisco when her mom was recuperating from something, quitting my job on the spot after a boss got really scary, on "Take your kids to work" day, showing her how to deal with abuse, and of course, the drives from the Bay Area to San Diego with college gear in the pickup and the 5 story dorm with no elevators. (How can that be?) and so many more thrills.

My Dad was a commercial artist (he did portraits and still lifes at home) and put two kids through college. How he did that still amazes me. He commuted from the north shore of Boston through downtown to Dorchester. What an ordeal that must have been.

I joined the ranks of commuters when I moved to the Bay Area. I'll spare you those stories (for now, anyway)

After the commercial art job, Dad had a succession of jobs. He worked his butt off. I recall his job reviewing trust funds for the state. And then that office closed when the federal government took it over. He did get to see all his grandchildren.

My daughter was too young to understand what I did at my many jobs, but that's actually OK. Kids learn from their time with you, and hopefully, I gave her a good example of integrity and trust.

Seeing how that gift has flourished is the greatest gift I can get this Father's Day, being so far away, but she and her husband did treat me recently to a nice brunch, and of course, frozen yogurt, when I visited.

CIAO to all Dads today.

Happy father's day! Here's my dad on the front of the very first Dragon User magazine. It's been a bit of a bumpy ride but I loved growing up surrounded by every microcomputer under the sun.

https://www.computinghistory.org.uk/det/4201/Dragon-User-May...

Wow! I had a Dragon 32 back in the day :)

I'm a first time father of an 80 day old.

And I can gladly say, these have been the most incredible days of my life. I want to be more ambitious and more active for my kid, in ways I hadn't thought before.

Happy Father's day to all.

Congrats! If you can be this positive at day 80, you’re going to love the days to come. Your kid is lucky to have you.

You only get about 10 of each day.

Obviously not true. But...

Children don't make memories before 4 or 5 and start being teenagers around 15-16. So about 10 years. Sounds like a long time.

But what is today, the solstice, June 21. You only get ten June 21sts. That's it. You start with a handful and it decreases from there.

A 7 year old has 8 or so left.

A 12 year old has 3 of each day left.

Enjoy your kids, you only get 10 of each calendar day with them.

That is the stats for parents. By age of 6 you will have spent about 50% of your time with them. By age of 12 it is 75% and 20 it is 90%+.

As they gain independence, you have less time with them but it is also considered higher quality time.

And yes, 10 years is short. 2016 feels like no time compared with today.

Sometimes more, sometimes less. Either way, those days are the most precious time you will have.

If you’re lucky, sometimes you get a few bonus days sprinkled in later on as well. My oldest just came back from college for summer. I got to spend an evening sorting/assembling the border of a massive puzzle, listening to their 90s music playlist, and sharing some fancy whiskies I like.

Funny, I celebrated Father's Day on June 14th. I thought there was a globally agreed upon date, but alas I have been proven wrong.

Happy Father's day, most of the world!

When I was growing up, I watched my dad fix many things around the house. He took it on as a challenge, but you could tell he was genuinely curious about how things worked.

Taking something apart and trying to fix it was his way of figuring it out. I really appreciated that, and I find myself operating in similar ways.

He also had a fearless approach and the belief that he could fix it. I never saw him give up on a project—almost to a fault. There are areas for improvement in that approach, like asking for help.

Thanks, Dad, for inspiring me to fix things, take on challenges, be fearless, and believe I can succeed if I applied myself.

To all dads out there. Happy Father's Day.

I wrote this as I was motivated to fix my espresso machine last week https://x.com/dodeja/status/2068170135911981068

if i had to tell younger fathers one piece of unsolicited advice: buy arch support for your shoes. Plantar fasciitis seems to creep up on a lot of dudes after they have kids. It's also the worst.

I love to carry my kid but sprinting around while carrying the extra load did a number on the feet. You can largely prevent it just by spending $50 on a proper insole.

My kid is my favorite thing in my life. So tiring, so rewarding. And after a year of wincing walking barefoot, I can finally run again. Don't lose running time with your kid, buy insoles.

Happy fathers day.

As a father who is suffering from plantar fascitis (brought on by running), I would rather fix the problem by strengthening my arches than mask it by buying inner soles.

You are correct. The only way to get out of PF valley is by building foot strength. I learned the hard way that mega-squishy hoka bondis are counter-productive to that because of how much cushion they have.

That said, proper insoles are the lowest-effort, cheapest means of mitigation.

Agree. I was able to fix mine by wearing thin sole shoes and walking regularly on rocky terrain. See Born To Run.

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Born_to_Run/4gS_0UwVI34...

Thanks for the book suggestion, I’ll give it a read

Strengthening the arch is definitely the way to go. Hiking is probably the ultimate way to do it, but walking is good too.

I've had plantar fascitis a couple of times before (decade apart) and I've found that it can be resolved within 3 weeks.

The trick that worked for me is to regularly stretch the foot / arch after a few minutes into a walk when the foot is warmed up. If I do that consistently near the beginning of every walk, the pain quickly fades away and the problem resolves itself.

I think hiking over technical-ish terrain, like stumbling over tree roots and rocks that hit the arch would provide the same action of stretching of the bottom of the feet.

New flex: i use arch support btw

I find compression helps at least as much as support for my plantar fasciitis.

I'd recommend something like the links below for going barefoot:

https://copperfitusa.com/collections/feet/products/arch-reli...

https://www.drscholls.com/products/plantar-fasciitis-achy-fe...

I think both companies make a compression band without a cushion, so it won't interference with your insole. (I use 3" elastic sewn in a loop, costs about $1 for a pair.)

Good anti-fatigue mats for anywhere you stand a lot are great as well.

This is my first father's day as a father.

It isn't easy, I have been struggling immensely (plug: I wrote about it at https://asukawang.com/blog/leap-of-faith ), but now she's seven months old and it has been a lot better.

I look forward to all the things I could do for her. A home-made jukebox with NFC tags on cassettes I once saw on HN really interests me, but I reckon a 3D printer would be necessary or at least very handy and there's not a lot of room left in my house. Also I prefer a non-bambu lab option (such as Prusa) but the price gap is kind of significant. Still have time to figure this out I guess.

I also struggled immensely in the early days.

For me there was no turning point. Just a realisation one day that the good was outweighing the bad, and it had been for a while.

> I look forward to all the things I could do for her.

Look forward to the things you can do for her today, and then do them! My baby used to love an evening walk in a front-facing carrier. We'd watch the sun set, the street lights come on, and the headlights of the cars driving by. She'd wiggle in the carrier with unbridled excitement.

That's beautiful! Thank you. I also reckon there probably won't be a "that day". Just a lot of small things and one day maybe I'll look back and think it's not that bad.

I’ve also got two 7 month olds! It really is beyond any struggle I could have pictured. You got this!!!

Congrats! I'm celebrating my 10th now and my son was a hard sleeper until about 7 months. For me, it's just gotten better and better.

Thank you :) It's my first one!

Same! Our newborn gave me the gift of screeching at 2am.

Congratulations!

Aww, man... nothing could be cooler.

Take a deep breath....

Congratulations!

Congrats!

It’s my first as a father of 4 month old. We have traditionally never celebrated Father’s Day, last few years with social media provenance we started sending wishes on Family WhatsApp group.

This morning felt very different though. I have been getting used (gladly) to waking up with her smile and today with her holding my finger.

That was the best gift ever and getting to take photo with her and my dad :)

Happy Father’s Day

As HN sits at the intersection of business and technology, I will share that I received one of the best corporate yet human Fathers Day messages I’ve seen today from a founder of Brunt (a work wear boot and apparel company whose boots I wear for my DIY projects). I felt an urge to share it but I only interact on HN theses days.

It resonates with me and if you’ve grown a business while raising a family I think it hits more authentic than anything else I’ve seen.

Happy Father’s Day fellas!

Subject:

A Note from the Founder: Happy Father’s Day

Body:

[image of middle aged founder sitting with 2 sons on a tailgate]

My boys and I wanted to wish all the Dads out there a Happy Father's Day.

This year is a special one for me. It's the first year both of my sons can officially wear a pair of BRUNT boots.

Now, my youngest is technically a full size too small for his to actually fit. But he doesn't care, he puts them on and wears them proudly. Seeing them both running around the yard in the gear I've poured my entire soul into changes everything. It puts the last few years of literal blood, sweat, and tears right into perspective.

Knowing there are millions of you out there lacing up our gear every single day - many of whom are Dads - ties Father's Day all together. It connects my why - from my customers, straight back to my sons.

So today, I didn't want to just send you some generic corporate holiday greeting. I want you to know I feel what you feel. I understand the daily grind. I know the toll of the early mornings, the quiet sacrifices, and the heavy guilt we carry when the job takes us away from the people we love.

If this note resonates with you, it's a clear sign that you aren't just a Dad.

You're a great one. Happy Father's Day from my boys and I to you and yours. Enjoy it.

You've damn sure earned it.

En Giroard Eric Girouard, Founder & CEO

Thank you! My boys are 14 and 16 and I owe virtually all of my joy and success to being a father, husband, and the work required for each.

Congratulations! I assume that you have been a huge nerd with them... please continue doing nerdy things with your kids!

To all fathers who risk it all to make sure his family safe and sound

you are more than any superhero in any universe

Happy Fathers Day!

New dad to an 8.5 month old. It's changed my life in ways I couldn't imagine. It's been hard but so rewarding. Today was my first father's day and it couldn't have been better.

Happy Fathers Day to all the dads here. And happy Father's Day to my own Dad, who isn't with us anymore, but gave me a great upbringing and lessons I'll carry with me the rest of my life.

This is my 20th Father's Day. I feel truly blessed to have 3 wonderful kids.

We sometimes flirt with the idea of having more, but we are sadly done. The years fly by. It is truly a wonderful experience.

Happy Father's Day to all of you out there!

- was angry at him 2 yrs back on this day and did not wish him

- lost him 2 months later

- FML

New Dad to 1 month boy child, happy now but in a dilemma how am I gonna teach all the good things

As a new dad, you don’t need to have the whole roadmap figured out already. Kids don’t need perfect parents - they need parents who are present, loving, safe and consistent.

Love him, be there for him, don’t reject him. You only need to meet around 30% of a child’s emotional needs well enough for them to feel secure and not be traumatized.

And don’t worry, he won’t be homeless just because you didn’t sign him up for pottery class on a Friday evening.

Congratulations as you start an amazing journey, one you'll play a major role in scripting (but not the exclusive role).

I learned too late the lessons qwerpy expressed very well in https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48623191.

"how am I gonna teach all the good things"

I propose that you eschew the temptation to overwhelm the child with activities that you enjoy. A more subtle approach could work better: for instance, rather than insist on learning a specific music instrument in a rigid schedule, leave one within reach. Play it yourself and later (may be days later,) when the child picks it up, drop_the_phone and really, genuinely express your happiness and appreciation!

In general, let the child show you what intrigues them and then purchase whatever could help deepen their interest. However, now that you've made a purchase, don't go: "I bought this and now you've lost interest; such a waste of money." Their interests naturally bounce around and may come around again. See this not as a waste but an investment.

Anything (your time or your purchases,) that spurs them to discover their intrinsic motivation, is as an investment. Not all investments yield a positive ROI but given enough investments and enough time, your participation and your attention compounds!

I was with a young father this weekend, celebrating his son's 1st birthday. I'll leave you the advice I gave him and wish I had: time with your boy is not fungible. Given where you are in your career, you might feel extreme pressure to put off activities with your son. Don't! Rather than insist on doing something fun only when your calendar has a tiny opening, see every moment the child gives you his attention, as a tremendous gift. Don't waste it but (to the maximum extent possible,) drop whatever you're immersed in and fully give him your attention and time. Show him in that instant, how much he means to you. This too is an investment with a very long term ROI.

In due course, as a child grows up, the role their parents play in their mind-space, starts to shrink. Before then, there's a window in which a boy's hero is his father. Don't blow it by thinking you can ignore him then and make up later.

"how am I gonna teach all the good things"

Be open to your child teaching you many more good things too.

Finally, resist the temptation to show them a smartphone or screen, for as long you can [1]:

"These studies are more evidence that it’s a good idea to avoid lots of screen time in infancy (birth to 18 months). Infants just don’t have the cognitive skills to learn from screens at this age, and it gets in the way of activities that build brains, such as talking to infants, back-and-forth play, singing, or reading together. Research shows that products or programs claiming they are able to help babies learn language or regulate emotions are not telling the truth."

(father of two girls)

[1] https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/media-and-children/cente...

Thank you! Happy father's day to everyone out there.

If you're not a father and are thinking about it, just jump into it, it's the most phenomenal and rewarding experience!

Alas, I sit in the horrible limbo zone. The wife and I have been trying for about 6-7 years now, done all kinds of medical whatnot but still nothing. It just feels like complete defeat some days, this was the last thing on the list of goals and we just cannot get there.

Yeah, these days it kind of just sucks and days like this just makes it so much worse. This is not the fault of anyone here, this is my battle. Absolutely take this day and all the others in your stride.

Dear @HerbManic.

I know it's difficult but keep going, I know you will. Be strong, I send you my best vibes and hope that you get some good news on that relatively soon.

I truly wish you the best, I'm sure you'll be phenomenal parents.

Congratulations to everyone who celebrates Father's Day.

And for those who had a particularly difficult childhood, for those who may still struggle with the trauma of abuse and neglect, here are some resources you may find useful:

* "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" by Lindsay Gibson.

* https://old.reddit.com/r/AdultChildren+CPTSD+EstrangedAdultC...

It takes time, but there are people and resources that can help you. You are not alone.

Happy Father‘s Day～

Happy Father's Day!

I don't care about 90% of the posts on this site, but enough are relevant to make it worthwhile.

It'd be silly to reply to the threads that don't interest me.

You are right. Sometimes I do care about overly Americentrist views. But maybe better to now reply, thanks.

Reddit would be a better forum for that. https://www.reddit.com/r/complaints/

We had fathers day on May 14th :)

Outside of Towel Day, I'm not sure there is a universally celebrated holiday.

Somewhat apropos today, the solstices/equinoxes are by their nature celebrated at the same time of year universally. Granted, not everyone celebrates them, but you couldn't ever get everybody to celebrate anything.

Though if we're getting pedantic (like the head commenter of this thread), the solstices are opposites in the northern vs southern hemisphere, and on the equator solstices and equinoxes are irrelevant.

I do think New Year's on the Gregorian Calendar is up there, and the soccer World Cup does well, too.

New Year's?

Nah, my cats don't celebrate it due to fireworks.

Of which calendar system?

I think there is some sort of celebration of Gregorian New Year's in most of the world, even if it's not as big as lunar new year and other local calendar systems.