> a pot that holds fluids at every conceivable angle with 20 temperature thresholds, 5 versions that hold liquid in a cloud for you, with monthly subscriptions, having the ability to get a "like a pot but make it left handed and only holds sand because this is what I need"

Ah I see you're familiar with PowerPot by Atlassian(TM)

Very powerful potware, pity about how much soil it leaks.