Steve and Wendell are treasures. Looking forward to the investigation and the findings. I live in the EU, I own a C2 that is not connected to the internet, and all LG and Alphonso endpoints are blackholed on the network, however I'd love to dumbify the TV further with some hardware intervention.
I think your best best is to use something like pihole or another software for your router to block the TVs DNS resolution or ability to reach outside your network. I'm feeling pretty smug today about doing that on mine a while back, if only to keep it from nagging me about constant software updates.