What a shitty, unsympathetic take. Parenting is hard, especially with difficult children. Most parents do the best they can but they end up unintentionally screwing up their children anyway. That's just life.
Actually it is hard to maintain perfect discipline and self control when parenting a child who frequently acts out. Perhaps you can do it. Most parents slip up occasionally.
Turning it into an all-or-nothing thing doesn't help. Nobody's perfect.
If you have the urge to use violence or verbal abuse, shouting etc. at a child - things that would be illegal to do to even an adult or would most certainly get you fired at work - you have emotional control issues, perhaps from your own upbringing.
Kids naturally want to please their parents and respond well in most settings, as they are totally and utterly dependent on parents for survival. It's not difficult to use this to discipline them in constructive ways. Unless something is medically wrong, their specific behavior reflects their environment and upbringing.
Parents need to react well about 30% of the time for a kid to form a secure attachment, so there’s a lot of wiggle room and slip ups do not effect the overall pattern.
It’s not all on the parents of course but often family systems push parents to have kids when they don’t know how much they’ve been neglected or have major attachment issues themselves. Theres a huge social hereditary thing.
