>On the other hand it has a pretty strong "I got mine" component to it, where she laments the negative effects these changes have had on her personally but doesn't acknowledge that while she's in a position she likes that doesn't at all mean it is, or would be, like that for many others.
These special ed for women programming events are harmful to all women, not just women who already program. You can't de-emphasize gender by putting more emphasis on it...
I don't think either of us is capable of making definitive statements on the harm of women-only education programs, so I'll stay out of that.
I do believe however that it's completely and utterly impossible to improve gender dynamics without putting emphasis on it.
Using the (un)conscious (in)competence learning model [1] as a reference what you're saying is essentially that we should just go from unconscious incompetence straight to unconscious competence without doing that whole 'conscious' step, but that's just not a realistic option.
To achieve mastery or improvement in anything it needs to, at least temporarily, become conscious.
And yes, that will indeed be uncomfortable at first, but I really don't believe we can get there without it.
>I don't think either of us is capable of making definitive statements on the harm of women-only education programs
Well, it's pretty much a given that they're increasing sex based discrimination in the world. Both as a primary effect ("we only take people with vaginas") as well as a significant secondary effect ("wait, so I can't go because I'm a boy?").
>I do believe however that it's completely and utterly impossible to improve gender dynamics without putting emphasis on it.
It's a free country, so you're free to believe that. Just acknowledge that you're an advocate for sex-based discrimination. Incidentally, this makes you a sexist.
Given that sexist isn't a binary thing I'm perfectly willing to concede that to some degree and in some ways I am indeed a sexist.
Heck, I'm bisexual and to some degree I'm a homophobe. I don't like it, I'm not proud of it, it definitely doesn't work in my favour and I'm actively working on it, but I still am.
And so are you and that's OK. As long as bit by bit we're all getting better.
These special ed for women programming events are harmful to all women, not just women who already program. You can't de-emphasize gender by putting more emphasis on it...