Thats what really gets me about this, either this is truly a fucked up situation or something isn't getting through - if you're in the valley and you can write a jquery selector/do a few frontend customizations, you can put your resume on dice and have 10 phone calls the first week. I don't really know what to say, I have no degree but have just a few contacts and taking a job at a company like that for less than I'd get at an in-n-out seems way out of line.

Suggestion to OP: post your resume on a few sites and get recruiters calling if you haven't. Maybe put your teaching job on the bottom and emphasize coding ability. There's no reason you shouldn't be getting a few interviews very quickly unless you only speak in Klingon irl.