OK, here is the first 40% of my (light) edit of the original post. This took about 90 minutes which is longer than I thought it would. The rest can be done Sunday...
OP: is this too far from your inner voice, what you intended? Is the edit worth finishing?
I'm having to link to the text file as HN says the 1200 word extract is too long.
No major issues with your communication, just obviously not English as first language.