What you've described is very much the classic "curse of being gifted". Breaking out of the curse is really quite hard and I think there's really two ways to go about it.
1) Give up, just be a normal, non-gifted person. Do normal non-gifted people stuff and enjoy life.
2) Realize that you're smart, and if you're so smart, figure out a way out. For any problem you have, use your smarts to figure it out. Figure out how to study, how to motivate yourself, use your gifts on yourself. Then once you've figured yourself out, turn your new skills outward and use your gifts properly.
It sounds obvious, but people "cursed" with being gifted don't often realize they have the single gift they can use to get themselves out of their mess. Instead they simply coast on it like a ship adrift at sea rather than using it as a ship of exploration that can take them anywhere.
Have you known people to have successfully gone down path 2? Any stories or tips to share?
I'm in a similar situation. Despite having been moderately successful, I lacked passion. Now I'm a 30 year old graduate student, working three times as hard and making a third the money that I used to, but I couldn't be happier.
My most difficult project remains mastering myself. I'm doing okay now, but I know I can be much better. I'm worried I won't be able to master myself and will be stuck with mediocrity because I'm my own worst enemy after decades of terrible work habits.
I often spend too much time on "self-hacks", and not actually doing stuff that needs to get done. It feels like paralysis by analysis, so that's why I'm questioning this advice.
I don't know, I think the answer is to figure out what motivates you.
It took until the point that I was so irritated at my station in life that I finally had to just stir myself into action. I couldn't handle the crap pay I was receiving, and watch people who were clearly not at my level (or so I believed) surpassing me in basic life accomplishments without major effort, like making enough money to pay for the gas I used commuting to/from work. So for me, anger and frustration worked pretty well.
I also got heavily involved in some very physically demanding martial arts and really learned what my limits were, mentally and physically. I think it helped me both work off the anger and get some perspective in a constructive way while I started planning how I was going to get out of my rut. I also was incredibly physically fit during that time too, which wasn't bad. One thing I learned, I really need a coach barking at me to do my crunches, or get back in the ring or run another lap or whatever. So one solution I learned is to optimize my life so I have a motivating person keeping me moving forward.
In my case, I found a wife who's been incredible. I'm more afraid of her than I am of failing. So having an ever present challenger has helped push me along.
But ultimately, you have to use your smarts to figure it out yourself.
1) Give up, just be a normal, non-gifted person. Do normal non-gifted people stuff and enjoy life.
2) Realize that you're smart, and if you're so smart, figure out a way out. For any problem you have, use your smarts to figure it out. Figure out how to study, how to motivate yourself, use your gifts on yourself. Then once you've figured yourself out, turn your new skills outward and use your gifts properly.
It sounds obvious, but people "cursed" with being gifted don't often realize they have the single gift they can use to get themselves out of their mess. Instead they simply coast on it like a ship adrift at sea rather than using it as a ship of exploration that can take them anywhere.