> “The type of person who is attracted to these jobs and thus to the Seattle area seems to be... strangely entitled...." Arlene said that she was once contacted by a Microsoft programmer on OKCupid who required that she read Neuromancer before “he would consider taking me out on a date. He was not joking.”
The idea that a guy should feel grateful for the opportunity to take a girl who looks down on him out to dinner is pretty far up there if we're chalking up examples of self-entitlement. Makes me suspect the real reason for her reaction was surprise at not being in the traditional position of judging and rejecting the guy first.
Most of these "brogrammer" "frats guy" types that are loathed on HN tend to be a very particular type of person. They were uncool in high school, joined a low tier frat in college and then tied their entire self esteem to their club membership. They remain socially inept after college and therefore cling to their juvenille antics because that's all they know. [0]
In general, the people in the top tier fraternities tend to have extraordinary social skills and meld seemlessly with society after college. You probably wouldn't be able to spot one. As of now, these individuals are very much _not_ in software engineering.
Unfortunately, the top 3 or 5 large fraternities on campus take all the kids with social skills, and the bids trickle down from there. What you're left with is 15 or so fraternities that function as a factory for douchebags with weird personalities. These are the "loser frat guy creeps" that members other fraternities make fun of. Most outsiders are unaware of the social hierarchy within the Greek system and understandy lump everyone together.
If someone is still acting like a "bro" or "frat guy" after college then that's a red flag that they were the social inept guy in their fraternity or in a low tier fraternity.
As someone not familiar with US universities and fraternities (outside of popular college movies), I have to ask:
Is it mandatory for students to join these fraternities? And if so, why?
I know very little about the subject, as I was never interested in this, but I think here in Austria we have these kinds of fraternities as well, but they are very rare and don't seem particularly interesting. Or maybe that's just me.
It used to be that about every 15 years somebody would write an article about the awfulness of men in Washington, DC. I am not prepared to say that I was ever much of a bargain, but reading the articles never really told me why I should care. If I were 25 again and working for Amazon, I suspect I'd have the same reaction.
That's a bit harsh on all women. And that point of the article was to say that these guys are one dimensional and self absorbed, not that they're happy or unhappy.
That said its a massive generalisation taken mostly from guys on dating sites, as far as I could see.
Irvine Welsh linked it on Twitter saying there were killer lines but I'm not sure what they were.
I enjoy the company of women, and am generally interested to hear what they have to say. However, when what they have to say approximates the story in Slate, then I do lose interest.
Talking almost wholly about yourself (and your job) and not asking about your conversation parter is always a social disaster, whether you are on a date or a business lunch. And yet I see so many people make this mistake.
Listen, and ask good questions! People will like you more.
The idea that a guy should feel grateful for the opportunity to take a girl who looks down on him out to dinner is pretty far up there if we're chalking up examples of self-entitlement. Makes me suspect the real reason for her reaction was surprise at not being in the traditional position of judging and rejecting the guy first.