Unfortunately, if you get there, there's not enough therapy in the world that will help. You can never pay someone to teach you to love yourself, or to decide for you who exactly you are, or decide for you what you want. You have to claim it for yourself, and if you walk the path laid out for you by others you will not have the tools to do this. After pair bonding with the mother, the foundation is laid as a toddler, parents praising effort, not outcome, and teaching kids to learn and explore and create for the sake of their own curiosity, not tying that process to external judgements and motivators and robbing them of their agency. The goal of parenting should be to teach self reliance. Parents and our current scholastic environment are raising children that are so tightly coupled to the system that they are extremely brittle in the face of adversity, they fall apart. Their reference points are external. They have no compass. You might 'make it' by society's standards with no internal compass, but this 'making it' is incredibly deceptive. You've acquired a debt working against self realization and direction that is incredibly difficult, sometimes impossible, to pay. Countless broken homes and shattered lives result from the inevitable reckoning. Everyone will become accountable to the amount of responsibility they've taken for their life at some point, and it can be equally liberating and devastating.