> Most religions have codified kindness as "do to others what you want them to do to you".
I actually think the Golden Rule is very ineffective. Personally, I'd prefer if everyone got quickly to the point with me and said things quickly and plainly. While this is great for many engineers, some other people prefer a lot more subtlety.
Agreed. Anything else is a waste of time, and usually leaves me with more questions than answers.
At the same time, the quick and efficient version can still be presented in a positive - or at least nonnegative - way, which I think OP mentions: "callous indifference" is indistinguishable from "mean", for many people, which makes it difficult to work together.
I actually think the Golden Rule is very ineffective. Personally, I'd prefer if everyone got quickly to the point with me and said things quickly and plainly. While this is great for many engineers, some other people prefer a lot more subtlety.