My point is, you should not be unjust to others. And you should not be unjust to yourself. But you need not pretend to appease others just because they expect it. This messes up the whole communication. You are hiding your real feelings. They loose opportunity to learn and grow up. Infact this is more serious in case where the communication is across different cultures. People can't read the unsaid stuff.
As a scoiety, we should learn to not get offended easily, not depend on kindness from others, or beg for regard. That's the strong and ideal society. That makes it easy to achieve great things, because we are not burdened by the task of checking if it hurts anyone's feelings and to modify our work to make everyone happy.
BTW, whether somneone is being ass or not, also depends on your own expectations and pampering.
Think again, about the roots of necessity for pleasing everyone.
Disclaimer: I didn't downvote you, I just comment to offer some insight (unrequited perhaps).
You said:
>> People can't read the unsaid stuff.
Buy many people CAN read the unsaid stuff, so maybe I'll spell this one out for you:
You said:
>> feminized (weakened or neutralized)
So I think you might have gotten downvoted for comparing femininity to weakness.
And not sure about this one, but maybe also for sounding a bit like a nazi supremacist.
Being kind is not about displaying inferiority.
I don't think you're a bad fellow, but it sounds like, for you, it feels cool to consider yourself superior because you are "right" most of the times and you "win" a lot of arguments.
Many times you can end up thinking you were right because no one present was able to overthrow your reasoning, and sometimes you end up thinking you were right because you stated your arguments with "natural vigor" and people just lost motivation on engaging with you in conversation.
You might be of the opinion of "who cares about downvotes if I'm superior because I know I'm right", but you might consider caring about the message those downvotes entail in this particular case.
Why? To make it relevant to you: Because learning to read the unsaid stuff is powerful.
As a scoiety, we should learn to not get offended easily, not depend on kindness from others, or beg for regard. That's the strong and ideal society. That makes it easy to achieve great things, because we are not burdened by the task of checking if it hurts anyone's feelings and to modify our work to make everyone happy.
BTW, whether somneone is being ass or not, also depends on your own expectations and pampering.
Think again, about the roots of necessity for pleasing everyone.