Fortunately as a socially coy software engineer with limited social skills, I've somehow managed to find a partner with similar interests who gets me. However, after dating in New York for a few years, even with more candor my conversion rate to a third date from Hinge was 5%. This is based on around 40 dates in 2021. For some reason, dating is more palatable for skinny weird guys on the east coast?
Women have insane standards these days, for men who make less than $100k or don't already have a very strong social circle the options are dismal. I had women ghost me or leave the table when they realized I didn't work in finance, made less than $400k or wasn't willing to spend $250 on the first date. Fortunately, only in one instance did someone "bring a friend".
I'm almost 30, and to be honest, outside of friends I see every few weeks and my partner most forms of socializing seem incredibly trite and like a waste of time. I also stopped drinking because of my health and it just no longer being appealing. Meetups seem fake, and usually end up being people who pretend to be friends.
After college I joined a really cool small social "club" for young entrepreneurs (unfortunately it's no longer) and it was great. Consistent friends I'd see 3-4 nights a week etc etc. However, once it folded basically nobody stayed in touch - ended up being kind of fake friends :( .
I'm maybe a 6/10 on a good day. I went bald at 24 and chronically have black circles under my eyes. First dates don't really count, conversion is what counts.
Somehow, you can be somewhat successful in NYC if you're a skinny 5' 10" man, but it rarely leads to a real relationship, especially if you dislike drinking / partying.
It’s definitely grim out there for most young men these days. I’m 32 and make the money those girls are looking for but I can’t get a date to save my life cause I don’t have the looks. (Average in almost all aspects)
I’ve made offers to my friends that I’d pay them anywhere from $10k-$1m if they found me someone I ended up marrying. No one has taken it up - they know how bad the dating market is and that there’s zero shot.
Jesus. Don't you think that you're creating a perverse incentive for your friends to hook you up with just about anybody with no regard for whether they're a good fit/decent human being?
I get the sense from your response that your self esteem is hurting. I don't know anything about you nor what you look like, but keeping fit and being mindful about what you wear goes a long way in my experience, both in terms of your confidence and attraction from other people.
"I had women ghost me or leave the table when they realized I didn't work in finance"
I've dated extensively in SF and NYC and never had anything close to that kind of experience. To me, it's all about being deliberate and particular about who you go out with before you go out with them.
Women have insane standards these days, for men who make less than $100k or don't already have a very strong social circle the options are dismal. I had women ghost me or leave the table when they realized I didn't work in finance, made less than $400k or wasn't willing to spend $250 on the first date. Fortunately, only in one instance did someone "bring a friend".
I'm almost 30, and to be honest, outside of friends I see every few weeks and my partner most forms of socializing seem incredibly trite and like a waste of time. I also stopped drinking because of my health and it just no longer being appealing. Meetups seem fake, and usually end up being people who pretend to be friends.
After college I joined a really cool small social "club" for young entrepreneurs (unfortunately it's no longer) and it was great. Consistent friends I'd see 3-4 nights a week etc etc. However, once it folded basically nobody stayed in touch - ended up being kind of fake friends :( .
Good luck out there friends :)